I'm putting off the bit about my grandmother for a post or two (See Nov. 5), until I have time to do it justice.
Also, a momentary break from politics to share today's Revelation for Self-Actualization:
Self-esteem is earned, not given.
Recently spoke to a friend who happens to be an amazingly accomplished, talented, experienced, and attractive person, and yet still expresses doubt in her gifts and abilities. This is despite their obvious value (HER obvious value) to everyone else. As a fellow first-born, I could totally relate, as I think this problem tends to strike us a bit harder, though it's certainly not limited to a birth order.
Can't remember where I heard the above axiom, but I now believe it to be completely true. I have been blessed to also know people who have an uncanny, unshakable, and truly unpretentious perspective on themselves. But then I'm asking, why can't I be like that? What do they have that I don't?
Self-esteem. An internally-eminating assurance that they're basically 'okay.' At least one significant commonality I can see: people with self-esteem have taken risks and have met with success. Even better, they may have failed, tried again, and then seen success. Perhaps the level of self-esteem is proportional to the level of struggle-induced success one has experienced.
I can say that I have seen this in my own life, too. Areas within which I have observed real results (such as executing a direct marketing campaign and seeing actual $$$ increase), I seem to have true confidence. Other areas (such as jazz singing) where the feedback has been mostly just external praise or even failure, the most I can offer is a false humility (insecurity desperate for more praise/comfort).
Hmmm. I'm not liking the implication of what I need to DO with this insight (take more risks?). So let's go to your thoughts! ;)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I think "perspective" is the key word. Confidence isn't about being great at something and knowing it -- it's about knowing how good you are at something and being OK with that. If you know you're lousy at something (in my case, any game involving a ball of any kind), acknowledging that fact is just as much an expression of confidence as Michael Phelps feeling that he is a pretty good swimmer.
Post a Comment